“What is your Black Friday plan of attack this year?”

“What is your Black Friday plan of attack this year?”  This is the biggest shopping day of the year for retailers.  However, there is a flip side for Black Friday for the people that have to work on this day.  While shoppers are reading ad campaigns from retailers, clipping coupons, making shopping plans with family and friends deciding what stores to shop first, bee lining for great Door Buster sales retailer sales associates are planning a different survival strategy which I call the “Twelve Days Before Black Friday”.

I originally wrote this to share with sales associates the morning of Black Friday before the store opens.  However, as a member of TwitterMoms a group of moms that share, blog and tweet came along this wonderful blogging contest http://www.twittermoms.com/forum/topics/what-is-your-black-friday-plan for TARGET Stores http://www.target.com.

Target

The Twelve Days Before Black Friday

On the Twelve day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
Remember this:  Customer Service First, so associates park behind the dumpsters.

On the 11th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
We’ll open this year at 4am, so be prepared for the Door Buster sale rush.

On the 10th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
We’ll work 10 hour shifts with 2 15 min breaks and 1 hr for lunch.

On the 9th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
We’ll provide sandwiches only for associates lunch.

On the 8th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
Wear store colors, totally black shoes and no tennis shoes.

On the 7th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
– congratulations team we’re 1st in the district for Customer Service Satisfaction
– we didn’t meet our 12K sales goal
– we’re 12th in the district;
– we didn’t meet our ICAPP goal,
– we need more sale referrals and $10 Off coupons end today.

On the 6th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
All associates offer to save the Customer 10% for opening a new account, get 6 ICAPPs on Black Friday.
– Don’t answer questions confirming interest rates;
– Don’t confirm interest is compounded daily;
– Don’t confirm late fees of $35;
– Just offer to SAVE 10% and nothing else.

On the 5th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
All associates on Black Friday need 5 customer surveys completed in kiosk.

On the 4th day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
All associates on Black Friday sale each customer 4 $25 gift cards.

On the 3rd day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
All associates on Black Friday needs 3 Catalog Referral Sales.

On the 2nd day before Black Friday
Our manager said to us:
– On Wednesday there is a store inspection everyone must help;
so dust everything is sight, straighten and size your departments,
organize your stockrooms and
– Oh, there is 3 huge truck deliveries, too.

On the Eve before Black Friday
As my family sat down to our Thanksgiving feast my telephone rings.
My supervisor says to me:
–I need you to open and close the department
– Jayne called out sick,
– Bob broke a hip,
– Chris’s truck broke down
– and Laura went out of town.
So, It’s you all day, all by yourself be in at 3:45 AM til close at 10PM
and still be in Saturday at 5 AM.

On the Eve before Black Friday
The News Report Flash appears on T.V.
– Shoppers tailgating parties in retailers parking lots.
– Showing flyers of store maps with limit quanties of Hot Doorbusters Items
– Visions of mobs at the stores across town.
– People nauling on turkeys legs, camping out, yelling and cusing sounding like an Urban Dictionary Spelling Bee,
cops with stunt guns for crowd control.
Another News Report ALERT showing happy campers carolling, drinking free coffee, walking freely about mingling holding RED Tickets.
In the mist of the fog an image appeared of a Big Red “TARGET” sign the place you want to be.

On the Eve before Black Friday
ALL THESE DREAMS CAME OVER ME:

Our manager said to us:
– all associates park behind the dumpsters.
– we’ll open this year at 4am, so be prepared for the doorbuster sale rush.
– we’ll work 10 hour shifts with 2 15 min breaks and 1 hr for lunch.
– we’ll provide only sandwiches for lunch.
– wear store colors, totally black shoes and no tennis shoes.
– congratulations team we’re 1st in the district for Customer Service Satisfaction
– we didn’t meet our 12K sales goal
– we’re 12th in the district
– we didn’t meet our ICAPP goal
– we need more sale referrals and the $10 Off coupons end today.
– all associates offer to save the Customer 10% for opening a new account, get 6 ICAPPs today.
– Don’t answer questions about interest rates;
– Don’t confirm interest is compounded daily;
– Don’t confirm late fees of $35;
– Just offer to SAVE 10% and confirm nothing else.
– all associates need 5 customer surveys completed in kiosk.
– all associates sale customers 4 $25 gift cards.
– all associates need 3 Catalog Referral Sales
– On Wednesday  is a store inspection everyone must help; so dust everything is sight,
straigthen and size your departments, organize your stockrooms and
– also there is 3 huge truck deliveries too.

On the Eve before Black Friday
I prayed these things before I fell asleep.

– Lord, I pray Black Friday isn’t a trash pick-up day.
– Lord, I pray I awake at 2AM.
– Lord, I pray this 10 hour shift will go by as fast as a blink.
– Lord, I pray you bless the sandwiches to stay down as I rush to eat.
– Lord, I pray that the customers wear stores colors to confuse the mob that rushes me.
– Lord, I pray we meet our sales goal, so we all have jobs to keep.
– Lord, I pray 6 customers ask me for an Instant Credit Application
with their driver’s license saying please.
– Lord, I pray that the Customer Satisfaction Surveys will be sweet, since we don’t
have what they need.
– Lord, I pray we have enough gift cards, since no one knows what people need.
– Lord, I pray we had WiFi in the store to complete speedy Catalog Sale Referrals.
– Lord, I pray the three trucks GPS navigation systems leaves them lost driving down the wrong street.
– Lord, I pray for a personal shopper to shop for me.
Thank you, Lord, Amen.

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